


Fluttering Hearts, Safe at Home

by Eirenne Saijima (ladypoetess)



Category: Mutant X
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fix-It, Past Rape/Non-con, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 19:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17049593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladypoetess/pseuds/Eirenne%20Saijima
Summary: It was written on the walls from the very first day, and now it's here: Shalimar and Emma's wedding. How will Shalimar cope with their history and the anxiety it brings?





	Fluttering Hearts, Safe at Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> I wanted to fix that little event at the end of season 2 that separated these two ladies, and give them a chance at a happy-ever-after.

Shalimar had loved her from the start.

Okay, that wasn’t quite true. From the first time she’d seen Emma, scared and running for her life from Eckhart’s goons, Shalimar had _wanted_ her. Even when Emma was lashing out at all of them as “freaks” then, Shalimar had still felt the draw as to one of her pack.

She claimed Emma as her own that first time that Adam had asked Shalimar to show her the centering exercises to control her power, though only another feral was likely to have realized that, then. Given her particular psionic abilities,Emma had known her feelings almost as soon as Shalimar herself had been able to identify them, but it had taken months of deliberate, conscious effort for both women to be easy enough with each other for them to speak of it. The first time Emma had brought Shalimar into her mind, they’d been sitting out on the mountain, a little ways from Sanctuary, and Emma had asked, timidly, if she could touch Shalimar’s mind, to connect with her and show her what she herself was experiencing. Never one to shy away from a new experience (unless it involved fire, no fucking thank you), Shalimar had consented to the contact and found herself floored by the overwhelming beauty and joy from the younger woman.

Emma had said it was the happiest day of her life, and after the tele-empath had touched her mind, Shalimar had no reason to doubt it. Not much moved Shalimar to tears in those days, and less so tears of joy, but that rush of connection and sharing had been enough, and she had known she would never want to let go of Emma, no matter who else might come into their lives.

And others did move in and out of their lives; old boyfriends, high school confidantes, even their blood kin on occasion. And while old loyalties would tug at them, pull them to make decisions clouded by old feelings, they would find their way back together by the end of it. Jesse and Brennan occasionally made hints toward the idea that the two women would be better off with them (though Jesse, for his part, never treated Shalimar as anything other than a fiercely-loved sister), but Adam had quietly quashed those ideas. It was simple fact that Shalimar, with Emma, was at her most controlled and most effective, the assurance of Emma’s presence enough to keep her stable through the worst that Eckhart or Ashlocke or anyone else could throw at them. And Emma? With the knowledge of such a deadly fighter at her back, guarding her at all times, Emma grew both less timid and less reckless, feeling neither that she was some abomination, whose only use was being particularly good at selling misses and petites, nor the need to prove herself to the team as a valuable asset.

It was fortunate for the both of them that they had so long to learn the other in heart and mind and physical space while keeping Eckhart’s megalomaniacal plans at bay. For Shalimar, it was time spent learning how to trust the intentions and actions of the psionic who had tried to run more than once in the beginning, and then learning to trust her own reactions and desires for Emma once they had hesitantly started to explore the space of the other. And for Emma’s part, it was less about trusting the intentions of her new team (they were all open books to her tele-empathy, after all) and more learning to believe that she was not just needed for her abilities by the team, but wanted for herself by the beautiful feral. For all the danger and pain they faced in those days, it gave them the breathing space they needed to connect and trust and believe. Without that time, they might never have had a real chance, because the mental rape at the hands of Gabriel Ashlocke could have been the end of Shalimar’s willingness to trust any psionic.

Instead, when Ashlocke pulled Shalimar into the Link, she did not turn away from Emma but ran to her for safety. When faced with a new mutant who could do things her feral nature could not contend with, she could have run, could have lost all trust. But she didn’t. She ran to Emma, cried out for help when she was trapped in visions no one else could see, and trusted that her beloved tele-empath could save her.

When the explosion at Naxcon had nearly taken Emma from them, Brennan had finally backed off, understanding that the thing Shalimar needed most in the world was Emma. Emma’s love, Emma’s stability, Emma’s unshakeable faith in the ability to make the future better. Reconnecting with her father on that mission had been difficult for Shalimar to begin with, reliving some of the worst abuses of her childhood. Then, compounded by the revelations of Adam’s past that almost broke the team, it could have been all too easy for Shalimar to turn inward again, trusting no one, existing only to hunt her prey. But they had held together, the team, and once Emma recovered from her injuries, Shalimar had been determined that they would hold their relationship together, as well.

So why was she scared as a cub, now that the opportunity to make that claim a concrete, physical, visible-to-anyone-with-eyes reality was here? Where the hell was her usual swaggering bravado? After everything they’d endured, all the tests and trials to their bond of trust, why was the concept of this wedding the thing that made Shalimar want to tuck tail and run?

“Stewing in your nerves, Shalimar?” Adam’s voice was amused.

“I’m not stewing.” Shalimar’s reply was punctuated by strikes to the punching bag with her staff. “I’m training.”

“Uh-huh.” Adam still sounded amused. “It’s your wedding day.”

“So?” Shalimar continued the blur of movement she had been trying to use to exorcise memories and past pain from her mind.

Adam stepped into range, hands hooked into his pockets, looking only at Shalimar’s face and not at the whirling wooden weapon she wielded. It stopped just inches from striking his nose.

“Jesus, Adam! I could have hit you!” Shalimar snarled as she stepped back, pulling the weapon away.

“No you couldn’t.” Adam’s expression never changed from one of relaxed amusement. “Because you are better and faster and more in control of your abilities than you’ve ever been. And Shalimar, Emma is a big part of that.”

Shalimar scoffed and turned away to put up the weapon she still held. “I know that. Believe me Adam, I know just how much of me is thanks to her.”

“And that bothers you?” The question was mild, but Shalimar flinched.

“No, it doesn’t. And _that_ is what bothers me.” Shalimar stopped, pulling the tie from her blond hair and letting it fall to hide her face. “What if I lose her, Adam? What happens to me, to what I am, if I don’t have Emma? Shouldn’t I be more concerned about that?”

Adam was quiet for a moment, but for the whisper of his footsteps on the dojo floor. As he spoke, he laid his hands on Shalimar’s shoulders. “You are a feral, Shalimar, and that means you are going to be driven to have your territory and the people in it -- your pack, if you will. You will always feel easier in your pack than you will alone, even if you need to be a solitary hunter from time to time.”

Gently, Adam turned Shalimar to look at him. “But more than that, you are a woman with a past that includes people who have betrayed your trust in so many ways. Myself included. Emma hasn’t, and because of her psionic abilities and your willingness to let her enter your mind and draw you into hers, means you feel more secure in that trust. That’s not a bad thing, Shalimar.”

“I almost lost her, and you, at Naxcon Adam. The risks to our lives aren’t going to go away just because I say how much I love her in front of everyone.”

“I know. And you’re right; your lives will both still be full of danger that can’t be ignored.” Adam chucked Shalimar lightly under the chin to get her to look up at him. “That doesn’t mean you pass over a chance for happiness and peace when you get it, just because it might not last forever.”

Shalimar sighed and laid her head against his chest for a moment, letting herself feel that Adam was the father to her that he’d been for so many years.

“Ready to go see your bride?” When she stepped back, she flashed her usual challenging smirk, and Adam knew the anxiety that had plagued Shalimar had faded.

“I have to get dressed, first.” With a wink, Shalimar loped off toward her room, finally ready to do what part of her had wanted from that first day: it was time to make Emma deLauro truly and for always, hers.


End file.
